Bullet Journal Reflections

I've been back and forth with my husband regarding investing in a new journal so that I can begin bullet journaling. Of course I found a lovely journal and some really cool pens, and I said to myself, "it's only $20, between the lot"... but for the sake of integrity, I ran it by my better half. He has his reservations. I can imagine what they sound like:

More spending?
Does she need it?
Will she even stick with it?

But I really really wanted to try out some of Ryder Carroll's ideas. After reading up on the concepts, I found a lot of similarities between the BuJo method and the notes I take. The difference is, BuJo is organized, consolidated, intentional. My notes fill simultaneous legal pads. The lists take various forms. A typical page is a rat's nest of arrows, boxes, and lines, and I'm forever searching for the most recent 'to-do' list... that's if I even think to check the list. I'm notorious for making lists and forgetting about them.

So here's what I did:

I took a blank composition notebook that I had overstocked from this year's school supply spree. I began setting up the notebook as Ryder Carroll instructs on BulletJournal.com: index, future log, month calendar (did not do this properly, on reflection), day log. I added a couple relevant collections: my library list, a supper menu... numbered the pages and logged them in the index. And voila! A bullet journal.

Mind you I did all this in plain ol' Bic pen.

The lesson? Sometimes things are possible if you scale down your standards. I did not have to spend $20 to have a satisfactory bullet journal experience. On further exploration, I found that many dedicated BuJournalers use, and even prefer to use, regular comp notebooks of different shapes and sizes. After all, it's not the materials you use but the practice that counts.

A TED talk by Eli Nash

Watch this. Just... trust me on this one, take the fifteen minutes, and watch this video. Right now.

This guy is my new hero.

In the video, Eli Nash speaks about his struggle with porn addiction and the associated shame attached to that illness. He speaks in candid terms about other peoples' reactions to his openness. It seems like his goal is to break the stigma around discussion of pornography as a dangerous, and damaging addiction.

I can't even imagine the amount of courage it took for Nash to bare himself like this. Giving a TED talk about fighting porn addiction is the ultimate in vulnerability. I'm reminded of Brene Brown's book, Daring Greatly, in which she lays out her case for vulnerability as the stuff of life. According to Brown's research, vulnerability lays the groundwork for connection, which, as Johann Hari claims, is the opposite of, and antidote for addiction.

If Brown and Hari are correct, Nash really is conquering addiction, and we are watching him do it. In delivering that speech, Nash is not just breaking a stigma. He is actively forging new connections with people around the issue of porn addiction. He is moving towards health.

That is why Eli Nash is my new hero. I have boundless admiration for a person who conquers his shame in pursuit of health.

You go, Eli. You've got this!

The Internal Debate

Honesty, again.

This topic haunts me. Because, as Batsheva Shomer, I cannot be completely honest. I can share from a select few topics, which, I grant, could be plenty. But I cannot share from the topics closest to my heart. And that just about flattens me. It makes me wonder if I ought to be blogging anonymously. At least in anonymous form, I could share the real deal - the stuff that people might relate to. But as an anonymous poster, how honest would such posts be, even if the topics were genuine?

So it's a complicated bind I'm in, from a 'values' perspective. If honesty is my goal, and connection my pursuit, which path ought I travel?

Truth

Truth. Honesty. These are values I cherish. I like to consider myself an honest person, and a seeker of truth.

I wrote something recently - a novel. This was a book I'd begun writing ten years ago. I hit a block in the story, and this block put the novel on the shelf until a month or two ago. That was when I realized that the main character ought to be a girl, not a guy. I was ecstatic. Finally, I'd be able to write the book as it was meant to be!

I did, in fact, write the book. I sent it then to my sister, whose review came back scathing. She was upset that in changing the character to female, I'd also changed the character. According to her, my female protagonist came off as weak, unconfident, and uninteresting, where the male character had been intriguing, sarcastic, and totally composed. I was shattered by her comments. I felt like she was putting my own personality through the grinder. At some point in the conversation, she asked if she was being too harsh, and I, true to my values, replied, "There's no such thing as too much honesty."

But is that the case?

I was conflicted. Emotionally, I felt that the critique was too much for me. I didn't know how to shoulder the hurt and move on. However, the cooler part of my mind did recognize truth in her words.  I saw at once that she had a point, that I could write the character better, and that doing so would only improve the story. Accepting that felt like passing kidney stones. It was true. I hated it. But I did not wish it unsaid.

So what is it about truth? Is it the universal, correct path? I find it hard to imagine a marriage surviving on pure, unadulterated truth. I do not condone a relationship based on dishonesty. However, I do believe that in the interests of love, not all truths must be said.

These are my thoughts. I don't have any clarity on the topic. Ironically, it seems that like most concepts, truth is not a black-and-white issue.